After over ten thousand kilometers on the road, I have had plenty of opportunity to observe the users of the roads in Australia. Even though the majority of the people live in one of the five major cities, the biggest part of Australia is empty, with some roads crossing it. The outback. And it has it's own rules, there is a certain pecking order for all users of these roads.
1. Road trains. As the country apparently is too big for real trains, apart from a few overprized long distance tourist ones, everything needs to be transported via the road. A road train is a big lorry, with at least one, mostly two, sometimes even three trucks behind it. That way one driver is enough to transport everything across the deserts. The road trains can be over 50 meters long. The driver has enough power, he wouldn't even notice a small car, even though he might bump into one. Nobody messes with a road train. Recognizable on the road: huge gigantic building coming towards you, even on the other side of the road, you'd still prefer to slow down and stick to the roadside. When on your side, they are the ones that take a whole side of a tape to overtake. Off the road: at petrol stations and roadhouses (an amalgaman off a petrol station, a shop, a pub, a garage, a motel and a campsite, created at set intervals in the middle of nowhere, to make sure everybody can keep moving wherever they want to go) they are the ones with arms as big as normal people's legs, usually with a few tattoo's on them, sleeveless shirt (singlet in Australian) and shorts. Not the biggest talker.
2. Truckies. Apart from the road trains, there are plenty of truckdrivers around as well, Australians call them truckies. They work long hours for little money. They drive in between the big cities, continually moaning about how bad their job is. They are the ones that fall asleep behind the wheel, as the competition is fierce and they have to keep going to make a living. They threathen to strike often, but never do. They could do with the organisational skills of their French counterparts and farmers. On the road: Trucks, like everybody knows them. Off the road: similar appearance as the above category, just more talkative. Makes his job sound like it is very difficult, with an air as if it comes natural for him.
3. Professional drivers. Buses and tours in minibuses. They drive the distance, know their ways around, as they do the same routes for years running. On the road: confident drivers, overtaking normal cars who happen to drive two kilometers under the speed limit. Off the road: always in uniform, presenting themselves as the pro's they hope everybody's taking them for. Many used phrases: 'When I started driving, it was...' and 'But over there, everything is different, because..'. Somehow they think the road is theirs.
4. Rich people. They are the people who can afford to travel around. They have got the newest four wheel drives and travel from hotel to hotel. Occasionally they have got a boat behind the car, however far from water you might encounter them. This is irrelevant as the boat is not for use anyway, but to show how rich they are. On the road: easy recognizable as they have a tendency to get their numberplates personalised. Dick4, Tom 3, Emma, kim6, Ana, JB007 are a few examples. Quite often the car is named after their wifes or girlfriends, which seems a nice gesture, until you realise that when the car needs to be traded in as soon as the newest model arrives on the market, the female might be traded in as well for this year's model. Off the road: they are the ones that don't greet fellow road users (a common habit in the outback, after driving for hours you're so happy to see the 4th car that day, that you automatically start waving at each other), nor do they acknowledge them at the necessary stops. They wear their sunglasses regardless if it's day or night, in or outside, sun or rain.
4. Locals. They are the ones that do not live in one of the cities, therefore are the exceptions in this country. They feel different and have every right to do so. On the road: they are the ones who overtake just before the sharp turn with the sign 'dangerous', as they know the chances of anybody coming from the opposite direction are slim. They know their way blindfolded if necessary and sometimes are so drunk when driving home from the pub (or roadhouse, whichever one is closer), that a blindfold wouldn't actually make a difference. The vehicule they drive has survived several crashes and is is constant need of a wash, though lack of water and an overflow of dust makes a wash useless. Off the road: the one in the roadhouse who makes a remark that you can't understand, not even after repeating twice, after which you laugh politely, though you haven't got a clue why he thought it was so funny. They run up a bartab which is the equivalent of several months wages, but the owners know they'll come back, as they haven't got anywhere else to go. They drive home five minutes after they collapsed off their barstool, but the landlord reassures you that it's okay. 'He lives just around the corner', forgetting to mention that around the corner means about 50 kms away. A subcategory of this group are the rednecks. They have got a roo-bar (a bar in front of their car that makes sure that if you do happen to hit a kangaroo, it doesn't get stuck in the radiator or crashes the front window, but flies over the car) and they are entitled to use it, even if that means you have to follow the roo off the road a bit. Some of them who see aboriginals as much as a plague, deeply regret it that aboriginals are not as stupid as kangaroo's and stand in the middle of the road in the night, blinded by the flashlights.
5. Local travellers. They are not rich, they do drive the older types four wheel drives, a lot of the time with a caravan behind it as well, as they can't afford the hotels as the rich ones can. They could be driving a motorhome or camperhome as well. A very big part of this group are retired. On the road: the ones who drive way below the speed limit, as they are enjoying the view, even after 6 hours of desert, 5 days running, without any variation. Off the road: they can be easily spotted at parking lots and roadhouses. She has made the sandwiches, whereas he is always checking things in and around the car. They like a conversation with the foreign traveller, but only to start of with their own story, which inevitably starts with the words 'my grandson is travelling as well, he..' or 'my children..'. The grey hair gives them away a bit actually.
6. Motor bike riders. Somehow there is not many of them. In a country where the sun seems to shine nearly always and roads are endless and quiet, you'd expect plenty of them. Why there are not, remains a question. On the road: the stripe coming towards you in the middle of the road, up close recognisable as a leather clothed man, with four hands. The extra two apparently come from his wife on the back, though I can't confirm this, as she is never really visible. Off the road: the prototype of the Harley drivers, as seen in every second American movie. Leather, tattoo's, long hair, plenty of facial hair and a grim look in the eyes, though usually with a tiny heart. This can only be found out after speaking with them for a while, something not many people trust themselves to do.
7. Tourists. People from overseas as they are called here, usually from other English speaking countries, though some younger Europeans fall into this category as well. They are in Oz (the standard abbreviation for the name of this country) for only a short period, say up until three months. They can afford to spent money. On the road: rental cars and rental campervans, driven very carefully. They drive on the left here, you know. The company Britz seems to have a good name amongst this group, given the unendless supply of campervans that this company manages to send on the road. Off the road: white (as in 'we haven't seen any sun yet this year at home') people with all their gear. They come prepared, even though they are only here for a bit. They have got their phrasebook with them (the non-native speakers that is), nothing can go wrong. The pronounciation of the pre-learned sentences sometimes does make people wonder if they know what they're saying. They are amazed when they hear the stories from the travellers who are here for longer. They couldn't go away from home that long.
8. Backpackers. The category beforementioned as the ones that stay away for a long time. They are the ones that are always on the scrounge, always short on cash. The cars they drive around Oz are the older cars, the ones that are just about roadworthy, even though there seems to be something wrong with them most of the time. On the road: cars, mostly stationwagons or minivans (with curtains) at least 15 years old. Easily recognisable as they seem to be packed completely with backpacks, camping gear, guitars, didgeridoo's and other souvenirs. Depending on the number of inhabitants the roofrack could be full as well, the mirror is useless as the view is usually blocked. To stand out a lot of them have painted their vehicle in strange colours (hot pink, bright orange), or decorated it with paintings or slogans (peace, love) as if their appearance isn't enough to be called f***-ing hippies by the locals. Off the road: men usually shirtless, tattoos on their arms and, if British, inevitably sunburned. Women always with tops that are too short, otherwise nobody can see their bellybutton piercing or the tattoo just above their bums. They are the ones that practice the guitar at rest stops and bush camps, even though they have only had two lessons from a fellow traveller and the fact that thay can't sing unfortunately doesn't seem to hinder them, though it does annoy everybody else. Main countries of origin: United Kingdom, Netherlands, Ireland and Germany.
9. Aboriginals. The original inhabitants of this island still don't seem to adapt to the society that was created over the last two centuries here. And rightly so, would anybody with a bit of common sense say. 'You don't have to live with them', a lot of locals (though who are the real locals?) tell us visitors from overseas. They don't seem to know how to manage the government handouts and therefore are continually in money problems. The cars they own are the ones that no backpacker would dare driving anymore, it probably has gone around Oz twenty something times before it got dumped by the last owners, where some smart salesman still manages to sell it to aboriginals. On the road: usually standing next to the road with seemingly too many people to fit in, hoping somebody will stop and gives them a few liters of petrol, so they can move a bit more in the right direction of their travels, usually family visits or funerals. The car usually lacks one or more parts normally considered essential, a window being the most obvious. Off the road: hostile looks to anybody not belonging to them. Years of experience taught them that you can't trust any 'whitefellaw'. Difficult to get in contact with.
10. Cyclists. Very rare in Oz. Apart from the occasional retired Australian who goes on the odd tour, they are usually Dutch and especially German travellers, who consider it a challenge to travel this huge country this way. They usually are on their own, as it is impossible to cycle next to each other anyway. I have spotted one couple though, even with a child on the back of the father. Most drivers on the road consider them as idiots and suicidal. Those are the positive ones, as at least they try to avoid the cyclists when overtaking. Being cut off on a regular basis is one of the basics of life as a cyclist in Oz. On the road: bike with several bags front and back, helmet on head, whatever the temperature, reflecting strips on all sides of their brightly coloured clothing, anything to be seen. Burned nose, as no amount of cream seems to be enough. Off the road: they seem to either have completely lost their social skills and no communication is possible or they are so happy that they finally have found someone to talk to (and survived another day cycling) that they can't stop talking. Either way, it is best to avoid them for your own well being.
11. Kangaroos. For thousands of years they could hop around the island without any problems, since the mass introduction of the car, they are regular victims of the machine. The chances of survival with a vehicle driving at 100 km/h are slim. The urban legend of the roo hit by a car with foreigners, who then go on to make a picture of the animal in a jacket/football shirt/dress only to see the roo wake up and run off, can be heard regularly. It is not true. On the road: early mornings sometimes a mother and it's Joey (baby kangaroo) can be seen hopping across the street. At nighttime the big lights of especially the roadtrains blind them, with them staying where they are. The next day they can be seen on the road with their legs in the air (phase one), on the side of the road or next to it, hidden under a group of birds eating away the easily available meat (phase two), a pile of bones next to the road or a flat skin on the road (phase three). Off the road: kangaroos are not the best communicators, but rumor has it that they do not really like road trains, trucks and buses driving at night. Appropriate counter action hasn't been found yet.
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