My students (10)
Dec. 8th, 2002 06:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gerbieMy students (10)
Only weeks into my new job, I had a parents night. It is an opportunity for the parents to get to meet the teacher(s), to hear what is happening with their child. It was very difficult for me, as I hardly knew the children myself. Nor did I have anything to do with the grades I was discussing with them. So in the teachers reunion I made as many notes as I could, to be well prepared for that evening. I had several difficult conversations that evening and often told the parents that I would find out and get back to them. I think I have done that more or less.
The last appointment that evening, I almost felt like a doctor sometimes, with the corridor of the classroom as my waiting room, was with him. He is one of the two boys in a class full of girls, a quiet boy, his grades were okay. I deliberately made them come last that evening, to close to evening on a good note. The three of them entered and sat down, I had by then adjusted to the fact that the children were coming along with their parents. To me parents night was about parents and teachers, the students weren't supposed to be there.
The conversation went well, there wasn't much to discuss, but as they lived very close to the school, they felt it polite to come anyway. The only discussion was where there house was. In the big building his father had lost a bit of his sense of direction. In the end we ended talking football. It turned out that father was the chairman of a local footy team and I had played against that club a few times. We even knew someone who went from his club to mine, as he had moved to my hometown. It was a nice conversation and I left school satisfied afterwards.
A few weeks later he came to me to tell me that he might possibly miss some lessons as his father had been diagnosed with cancer. He never missed any lessons, so I told him to do so whenever he felt it was necessary. One monday he wasn't there, the next morning I read the advert in the newspaper and found out that his father had died. Only weeks before he had told me about it and not even a month before that I had been talking to the three of them. The class collected some money and I arranged for flowers. A delegation went to offer condoleances and I could see in his eyes that he appreciated it. His mother looked devastated.
The next monday he was back in school and picked up his work where he left it. As if he had had a flew for a day or two, he went on regardless of what happened. I found it very difficult to cope with, tried to ask him if he was okay and if he needed any help. "Life goes on", was his simple reply. And so it did. He kept getting good notes, his mother kept coming to parent's nights, even though he went strong as ever. We even discussed it one of those evenings. Sometimes it takes a while before reality hits you, but he was sure it wouldn't happen to him. It is nearly a year later now and he is still one of the best students I've got. Always friendly, hardly ever misses class and always good grades. I really hope it stays that way. My football team played his club a couple of months ago. The widow came on her own and greeted me, though had problems recalling my name. The parents night after that she apologised for it. She recognised my face, but couldn't place it out of the surroundings she knew. My team won. Next week we have to play away to them. For me it will always be "his father's football club".
Only weeks into my new job, I had a parents night. It is an opportunity for the parents to get to meet the teacher(s), to hear what is happening with their child. It was very difficult for me, as I hardly knew the children myself. Nor did I have anything to do with the grades I was discussing with them. So in the teachers reunion I made as many notes as I could, to be well prepared for that evening. I had several difficult conversations that evening and often told the parents that I would find out and get back to them. I think I have done that more or less.
The last appointment that evening, I almost felt like a doctor sometimes, with the corridor of the classroom as my waiting room, was with him. He is one of the two boys in a class full of girls, a quiet boy, his grades were okay. I deliberately made them come last that evening, to close to evening on a good note. The three of them entered and sat down, I had by then adjusted to the fact that the children were coming along with their parents. To me parents night was about parents and teachers, the students weren't supposed to be there.
The conversation went well, there wasn't much to discuss, but as they lived very close to the school, they felt it polite to come anyway. The only discussion was where there house was. In the big building his father had lost a bit of his sense of direction. In the end we ended talking football. It turned out that father was the chairman of a local footy team and I had played against that club a few times. We even knew someone who went from his club to mine, as he had moved to my hometown. It was a nice conversation and I left school satisfied afterwards.
A few weeks later he came to me to tell me that he might possibly miss some lessons as his father had been diagnosed with cancer. He never missed any lessons, so I told him to do so whenever he felt it was necessary. One monday he wasn't there, the next morning I read the advert in the newspaper and found out that his father had died. Only weeks before he had told me about it and not even a month before that I had been talking to the three of them. The class collected some money and I arranged for flowers. A delegation went to offer condoleances and I could see in his eyes that he appreciated it. His mother looked devastated.
The next monday he was back in school and picked up his work where he left it. As if he had had a flew for a day or two, he went on regardless of what happened. I found it very difficult to cope with, tried to ask him if he was okay and if he needed any help. "Life goes on", was his simple reply. And so it did. He kept getting good notes, his mother kept coming to parent's nights, even though he went strong as ever. We even discussed it one of those evenings. Sometimes it takes a while before reality hits you, but he was sure it wouldn't happen to him. It is nearly a year later now and he is still one of the best students I've got. Always friendly, hardly ever misses class and always good grades. I really hope it stays that way. My football team played his club a couple of months ago. The widow came on her own and greeted me, though had problems recalling my name. The parents night after that she apologised for it. She recognised my face, but couldn't place it out of the surroundings she knew. My team won. Next week we have to play away to them. For me it will always be "his father's football club".
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no subject
Date: 2002-12-08 01:14 pm (UTC)At some point I hope he can cry for himself when he is alone with himsef.
no subject
Date: 2002-12-09 02:57 am (UTC)I do know that in other cultures death can be an entire different issue... in some they mourn for an entire year, in some a lifetime, in others they celebrate the fact that the person may pass on to a new life... or they celebrate the fact that they were honored to have known the person!
It's not up to us to decide what a person should feel or how to act in a situation like that... but it keeps ya wondering doesn't it?! How in the world can a teen handle loosing such an important figure in his life and carry on?!
Did I mention yet that you’re a remarkable person?!
*WARM HUGS*
Re:
Date: 2002-12-12 05:59 am (UTC)With temperatures like these, I can surely do with some warm hugs. Especially coming from you!
Re:
Date: 2002-12-13 12:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-12-11 07:43 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-12-11 07:48 am (UTC)