Rowan says:

[gerbie]

HEAD: Quite frankly Mr. Perkins, if he wasn’t
dead I’d have him expelled.

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HEAD: Quite frankly Mr. Perkins, if he wasn’t
dead I’d have him expelled.

<long pause as Headmaster sits down and sips his
tea. Perkins looks up.>

PERKINS:I beg your pardon?

HEAD: Yes! Expelled! If I wasn’t making allowances
for the fact that your son is dead, he’s be out on
his ear.

PERKINS: He’s dead?

HEAD: Yes... he’s lying up in the sick bay now.
Stiff as a board and bright green.
And it’s very typical of his current attitude.

PERKINS: <shocked> But...

<Headmaster stands up and moves behind Perkins>

HEADMASTER:You see, the boy has no sense of
moderation. One moment he’s flying around like
a paper kite and the next moment he’s completely
immovable. And beginning to smell.

PERKINS: Well, how did he die?!?!

HEADMASTER: Is that important?

Comments

[athlongeek.livejournal.com]

That's great. I did a google search for it and found an extended transcript...absolutely hilarious, heh.

Re:

[gerbie.livejournal.com]

I've got the whole script as well, but I just think this bit is the best. If it wasn't for him being dead, I'd have him expelled. It takes a genius to think of a line like that!